In preparation for my Valentine's Day ski weekend in Zermatt, Switzerland,  I decided to take ski lessons at a school on the border of Germany and Czech Republic. What was supposed to be a great weekend learning how to ski turned out to be interesting for sure...haha I will tell you why!

After work on friday, I drove straight to Karlovy Vary, a spa town in Czech Republic and stayed at a beautiful hotel overlooking the town. I paid very little for this hotel, but they greeted me with a glass of champagne and my room was perfect. I ran a bath, relaxed and watched Making of a Murderer. I was excited for ski school the next morning.

I arrived to the ski place about an hour early. I confirmed my booking, picked up my ski boots, skis and waited for my class to begin at 10:00 am. Getting the boots on were a bit uncomfortable, but I managed to learn how to get them on. I wish I would've worn better socks. They were bunching up in the boot and I hadn't even started to ski yet. 

I booked 4 hour group lessons for Saturday and Sunday, so I was excited to be able to learn at least the basics, or at least I thought. 

As 10:00 am, all of the instructors came and I wasn't sure where I was supposed to go so I asked one of the instructors if he spoke english, "Nein" (No) , he said. I went to ask another instructor and he also didn't speak English. I was pointed to a group so I just followed them.  

What did I get myself into??

The instructor started to explain how to put on skis and how to balance and get the feel for them, but I had no idea what he was saying so I just observed and repeated his movements. It wasn't bad, until I had to walk uphill and I kept sliding backwards. It took me 7 minutes to go uphill as everyone else was practicing. I was so frustrated because I was the only one lagging behind and I couldn't communicate with anyone to see what I was doing wrong. After watching the movements of my instructor I was able get the jist of it.

 I continued to watch my instructor and I was doing good, but one of my problems was I went too fast and I had no idea how to slow down. I kept bringing my knees toward each other and pointing my skis in a V shape, but I wasn't sure where I was distributing force on the skis because I continued to fly! I ate ice and snow so many times from falling, it was so funny! Watching all of the 4 yr old children ski better than me made me feel so pathetic! Oh well, I have to start somewhere.

The next day was probably the worst. We went up a steeper bunny slope and practiced different techniques. I was not consistent. Sometimes I would do really well and other times I wondered how the heck I made it without breaking a limb. I'm that person you feel sorry for after seeing them fly through the slope and land backwards or spattered on the snow. It was not pretty...haha The funniest was probably the last run of the day. The instructor told us to go down the slope and through a narrow path toward the entrance. I kept saying to myself, "Go slow, Stephanie. Go slow." I ended up going so fast that I ran into a house and people leaving the grounds. My instructor and peers laughed as they saw me on my butt. It was as if I didn't learn anything during the two days of skiing. 

Lessons Learned:

1. If you ever try something new, make sure it's in a language you understand.

2. Wear ski socks, my feet are covered in blisters.

3. Make sure my ski boots fit, I have a huge bruise on my shin. My shins are super sore. 

New Year's Resolutions

One of my favorite questions to ask my loved ones as a new year approaches is, "What are your New Year's Resolutions?" About 75% tell me, "I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, its stupid."

I'm always baffled to hear this. To each their own. 

To me a New Year's resolution isn't just an unrealistic goal you set for yourself in the month of January, but instead an opportunity to set goals that will allow you to become your best self throughout the new year. In order to know what you need to work on, you need to reflect on what went well or wrong the past year and how you handled it.

I've always written down my resolutions and it has been interesting to see how things I have written years ago have manifested perhaps not in that same year, but later on. It is very important to take the time to write down all of your dreams, goals, and wishes because this will help you form a plan that will guide you to those dreams. Perhaps its' the inner hippie in me that believes that you will receive all you wish for when the universe believes you are ready. When you focus on something and want it with all your heart, you will get it.

Here is my initial resolutions list for this year, but I'm sure as I learn from new experiences  and challenges throughout this upcoming year, more resolutions will be added to this list. And don't be too hard on yourself if you don't complete them.

So get your paper and pen ready and jot them down!!

What do you live for?

Thinking about this question, the first two words that came to mind were: 1. Love and 2. Connection. But, I'm going to go with the word Love because it encompasses connections to many things and people.

So why do I choose Love?

Love is such a powerful word that many neglect to acknowledge or think deeply about. I think Love is the root of all positivity, happiness, and pureness in this world. Experiencing this feeling creates warmth, compassion, empathy, passion, gratitude and eliminates negative feelings that may set in from time to time.

The first love I live for is Love for myself. It might sound selfish, but nurturing and accepting myself helps nourish positive thoughts and actions that affect how I project myself to the world and how I treat people. Love is so humbling and helps me accept that everyone has flaws and not to take anything personally.

The second love I live for is Love for my Family and Friends. Nothing makes me happier than seeing them smile or experience moments of bliss. It's amazing to be surrounded by such positive energy and knowing they will always be there in times of triumph and difficulty. I want to support them and extend all of gratitude and love for how they have shaped me.

The third love I live for is Being in Love. There is nothing better than experiencing those sharp, rapid heartbeats when I see him or abandoning all insecurities and trusting that person completely. Merging hearts together to create an infinite lasting love. Though there is always the risk of heartbreak, not being vulnerable to the possibility of an endless love due to fear is even worse.

The fourth Love I live for is Love for all things in this world. A sunset, a happy dog, an excited cat, rainy days, beaches, tasty food, music, nature, meeting strangers, traveling, sleeping, being at home. There is so much love for all of these little things. Sometimes we forget to appreciate and build gratitude for them, but they are essential in completeling the puzzle.

All of these Loves I talked about are what I live for. They make me feel alive and make me do all I do everyday to generate more Love.

So what do you live for?  

  

Non-Doing

"I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope

For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,

For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith

But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.

Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:

So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing."

                                                     -T.S. Elliot

Reading this except from "East Coker," resonated how sometimes the best action to take in life is none at all. Just let life unfold. We often seek to control our outcomes and deny our realities causing us to live in turmoil. Letting go of control and accepting all that happens to us allows us to morph into our best selves and releases us from feeling anxiety about the future or depression from our past. It allows us to be present in the Now and let things naturally come about. 

So how do I live a life full of purpose without taking control?

I do believe one should set goals that direct you to where you want to go in life, but sometimes the best thing is to focus on how you want to feel instead of honing in on every detail of getting there. We are shaped by our experiences, insecurities, and relationships with others and that influences the way we see the world and the life we live. We often set goals that we don't really want and that cannot generate the feelings we want to attain, causing us to feel discontent. If you change your outlook on how you want to feel, instead of what you want to have, you won't need to take control because you won't be searching for more.

What are your goals in life? I'll tell you mine.

1. I want to feel happy.
2. I want to feel connected with others.
3. I want to feel loved and love.
4. I want to feel generous and give back.

Although these aren't focused on a particular thing, it sets intentions that I can work on in my day to day life. Visualizing how I want to feel, generates thoughts that later become actions and thus a reality.

Take the time to write down your goals and reflect on the feelings they transpire within you. You will gain an awareness of what is actually important in your life and how you seek to live a life full of purpose.

wheels

I finally got my car and  I'm so excited!It feels nice being able to drive without depending on anyone or for something as simple as transporting groceries. I've looked like a mad woman carrying grocery bags while riding my bike and also walking to the laundromat with a heavy bag of dirty laundry.

I got this Toyota Aygo 2008 sedan for $3500. It has a good maintenance record and has 65,000 miles. I think it's a steal!

Ironically enough, the license plates I received had NJ on it...Couldn't have been any more appropriate. A little piece to remind me of home sweet home.

Energy

Why am I so tired? I think all of the biking, zumba twice a week, and yoga have caught up to me. I feel so great though. I'm able to run without giving up so quickly and bare the most intense 2 hr zumba class ever. As soon as I feel like quitting, a bolt of energy runs through me and I focus on how this activity will not only transform my body, but my mind. Every muscle that is activated or stretched, releases tension and emotions that are trapped in my body. The more I engage in movement, the freer I feel. I yearn for more of this.

I've also been eating a lot healthier and making most of my meals instead of eating out. There is no point in exercising so much if your diet doesn't fuel your body with all the proper nutrients. I feel so lucky because there is so much fresh, inexpensive produce in german super markets and I'm able to play chef and improvise different recipes using different ingredients. Today I made Ratatouille with penne. I bought the eggplant, zucchini, tomatoes and herbs for less than 3 euro. Feta cheese is my guilty pleasure so it's a must for this dish. Once I have a fully stocked kitchen , I will be posting lots of recipes on this blog.

By the way, I signed the lease to my apartment in Weiden yesterday and I move in on August 1st!! I'm so excited! It's the apartment I told you guys about in one of my first blog entries.

Hope you guys enjoy your weekend, I'm off to Cologne for the weekend! Lots of pictures to come :)

Passenger

Reflectors... check. New lock... check. Backpack is set, and off I went. 

My new helmet felt a bit tight, but helmets will always be uncomfortable. This is the first bike ride in months and it feels amazing to finally catch a breeze as I ride instead of sweating from walking everywhere. I finally bought a mountain bike last night and I could barely wait until today to ride it!! This will give me an opportunity to explore the towns outside of base and also the many bike trails around this region. Even though I passed my German drivers license test last Monday (yay!!),  I have to wait until I find a decent used automatic car to purchase. Until then, I will bike everywhere!

I headed off to a public pool near base that I discovered last week and paid 2.50 euro to enter. The pool is surrounded by a huge park and camping ground and has a small cafe. Most of the people who go are Germans, but there are also many Americans. I posted my towel on the wooden deck and alternated between the water and tanning under the blazing sun. I'm so happy that I am able to enjoy the water and the sun. It finally feels like summer. :)

The temperature this past week has been in the 90s and since Germans don't believe in Air conditioning, I've been dying in my room. All of the fans in the PX (military version of target) are sold out therefore I've been taking cold showers before bed and considered applying icy hot to cool me off haha... The temperature today is in the 80s so it feels a lot cooler.

After the pool, I biked around the small town and captured photographs of some of the beautiful flowers, buildings, and landscape. I also bought a basket of nectarines, greens, and spaetzle for 3 euros! I am amazed how cheap locally grown fruits and veggies are. I will definitely have no problem being healthy here in Germany despite all of the pretzels, beers, and bratwursts. It was a wonderful relaxing day and hope to continue having days like this as I adjust to life in Germany. Miss you all and hope all of you had a wonderful Fourth of July Weekend!!

On my Way

Cloudy thoughts, racing heartbeat, what is going on? Suddenly you feel insecurities, ambiguous emotions, and elaborate worries rise from bottomless pits of yourself. A simple thought leads to a downward spiral of events and boom, you feel consumed and confused.  It's Fear's chance to convince you to identify with it and your ego. Recollections of past experiences and nonexistent events of the future lead to unsteadiness and anxiety. How do I stop this?


Be the observer. Identify these thoughts and feelings and allow them to pass by instead of letting them consume you. Stay present and embrace the moment. Everything happens for you, not to you. Still your mind and quiet that inner chatter. Fill your mind with thoughts of love and light. You guide your own path. Be strong. To reach enlightenment and total bliss, one must journey through cycles of lows and highs. I'm on my way.

All Things Pass -Lao Tzu

{Whenever I feel I need to be a bit more present, I'm always reminded of this poem. Always helps me keep things in perspective and not sweat the little things.}
-Good night

All things pass
A sunrise does not last all morning
All things pass
A cloudburst does not last all day
All things pass
Nor a sunset all night
All things pass
What always changes?

Earth...sky...thunder...
mountain...water...
wind...fire...lake...

These change
And if these do not last

Do man's visions last?
Do man's illusions?

Take things as they come

All things pass

Die (The) German Way

 In-processing started this Monday. It is pretty much two weeks of orientation filled with so much information ranging from finances, driver's license exam, transitioning on post, and German culture. We need to have a checklist of things to do before the two weeks are up.

As I walked into my class this morning, I was excited to be learning about the German Culture. The class was led by a vivacious, funny German woman who first started the class by talking about the right way to hold a beer mug..haha She demonstrated the proper way (placing your palm around  the mug versus holding it by the handle). She mentioned that typically the mugs hold 1 liter of beer and holding it by the handle could be a bit dangerous if you are having multiple mugs of beer.

Here are some of the interesting things that I've learned that you may find helpful:

• Germans are very confrontation and do not smile if they don't have a reason to. Americans pretty much smile at everyone, but germans do not. They are pretty reserved and won't take the initiative to meet or talk to someone if its not necessary. It may come off as rude to us Americans, but its the way they really are.

• Germans normally introduce themselves by their last name, not their first names

• When introducing yourself to someone, have a firm handshake and maintain good eye contact otherwise they will not trust you.

• Never ask a German, "How are you?," if you don't have time to stop and listen to their life's story or day. They will think its rude if you just keep walking. 

• If invited to a German home, it is customary to bring a gift. Chocolates, wine, or even flowers are great, just don't bring red roses unless you are in love with the host. Also don't assume you can bring your children to dinner unless you ask the host first.

• Tipping is not really necessary. Servers in Germany are salaried and have full benefits and insurance. One euro is normally sufficient. Some tend to know us americans tip 15-20% and will try to rip you off by not giving you your change. They know most Americans aren't confrontational and won't fight it. Be confrontational.

• Dogs are considered part of the family and seen laying under tables in restaurants. Many times they are served a free bowl of water.

• When everyone raises their glasses, be sure to clink your drink with each person and make eye contact as you do. Toast, "Prost."

• On parts of the Autobahn (controlled access highway) there is no speed limit. Keep right on the autobahn, left lanes are for passing only. Never pass on the right.

• Germans are firm believers of breathing fresh air and staying active. Everyone loves to hike, walk, or stroll through the parks. Just be careful what parks you go to because you may walk your entire family into a park with topless woman sunbathing. 

• Ladies, if you are trying to make friends or impress men, dress conservatively. If you dress inappropriately, no one will talk to you. They will look at you, shake their head and continue walking. They may also think you are a prostitute since its legal here.

• Biergartens serve only beer and have outdoor seating. Food is not sold. It is often confused with restaurants that do have outdoor seating and food.

• There are over 5000 different beers in Germany and it is acceptable to have beer right after church. You won't be a bad parent if you give your toddler a couple sips of beer. It is normal.

• Oktoberfest is a huge tourist trap and people have hotel reservations years in advance. A tent could hold up to 8000 people. You won't be served beer unless you are seated.

• Germany is the size of Montana. You can drive all over Europe in a short time, but you need an international European license and tourist passport.

It's so interesting to learn how different the German Culture is from American Culture. I'm so happy the army briefs us about these things before I act a fool in front of Germans. It is already a bit intimidating walking around in my ACUs around base. Since I am an officer, anytime an enlisted soldier or a lower rank soldier passes in front of me, they have to salute me first and I then salute them. I definitely had to practice saluting the right way or else they will not take me seriously...haha

-tschüss

selfie with my new CPT bars

Perspective

Most of the time we perceive/categorize things to be a certain way due to experiences or repeatedly seeing it that way, but  there are times when you are pleasantly surprised and swear to hold no judgements again.

This past weekend, my sponsor invited me to a Latin themed party in Nuremberg. At first, I was excited because of all of the history that Nuremberg holds. Most people don't know it is the second largest city in Bavaria after Munich, but know it is the city where the Nazi Party held their conventions. Adolf Hitler held most of the rallies in Nuremberg and after all of the chaos that went on during that time, trials were held there to bring Nazi war criminals to justice. So after knowing bits of history like this, I was excited to see this town. However, I was a bit unsure about the latin party. Even though I am Puerto Rican and do enjoy dancing to some latin music, I am not much of a fan. I decided to go anyways because I wanted to explore Germany and its culture.

After taking a quick train ride and walking 15 minutes, we arrived to the docked boat hosting the party. As we walked in along with two other girls from the dental clinic, I was shocked to see so many people, especially germans dancing to salsa, merengue, bachata, reggaeton . They all looked like professional salsa dancers and obviously had more moves than I did...haha I felt silly for prejudging what it would be like and I ended up really enjoying it. At one point during the party, a Cuban dancer was on the stage and was asking for people to come on stage to dance. I loved the song that was playing so I went and the other girls I was with came on stage too. The guy was instructing a dance routine to those on stage and to the whole audience. It felt like I was at a huge Zumba class. Every person in the room, young or old was following him and the energy was great! I guess this is what they do in Germany. Maybe I now know why my ancestors from Germany settled in Puerto Rico..haha

This morning we drove back from Nuremberg ( didn't get to explore historic sites, but hopefully next weekend) and I checked a potential apartment to live in. It is in a city called Weiden and it is about 15 minutes from my base. It's a beautiful town full of colorful colonial homes, cafes, restaurants, and shops. It reminded me a little of Prague because there was so much to do and there is a town center.

Weiden

Weiden

The apartment is a 2 minute walk to this town center and I could definitely see myself riding a bike or walking around this lively town. I'll keep y'all updated if I do get it. (crosses fingers)

Tomorrow, I begin in-processing on post, which is filling a bunch of paperwork, sitting through lectures and briefs about my transition into the military and Grafenwoehr. I'll be sure to give some updates :)

Bavaria

So I'm finally settled in Grafenwoehr after the long 6 hr bus ride from yesterday! It almost seems like I'm lost in time because the days are so long here and I'm still pretty jet lagged. Sunrise was around 5:00 am and it didn't set until 9:20 p.m., which is later than I'm used to. 

                                                          Welcome to Grafenwoehr!

 Since this is my first duty station and I'm overseas, the army assigns everyone sponsors to help with the transition. My sponsor has been so amazing so far. She's helped me set up a bank account, german phone number, my new mailing address (Message me if you would like it :) ) and also answer the million questions that I've had so far. It's so comforting to have someone there to talk to and ease through this transition since these past days have been kind of lonely. As the days have passed by, I'm a lot more excited about my stay in  Germany as I am surrounded by the beautiful landscapes, food, and culture. But, I'm still missing my Mom, sister, Mark and the rest of my family/friends I'm sure it will get better with time.

Today, I was also able to see the dental clinic and it was really nice. Lots of natural lighting and nice equipment. Nothing compared to the old clinic at Rutgers...haha After that, I attended the endodontist's going away dinner at an authentic German restaurant 20 minutes away from base and was able to meet other colleagues from the dental clinic. The schnitzel with cranberries and salad were amazing! At least the beer was cheaper than water :)
Anyways, have an amazing weekend!! Miss you all!

 

Transitions & Goodbyes

I Transitions. Changes. Goodbyes. It’s never easy leaving your comfort zone and launching into the unknown. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. From feeling overwhelmingly happy from all of the love I have received from friends, family, and my boyfriend Mark to experiencing true sadness. I’ve been repressing my departure for months, taking it day by day, and I’ve realized I’ve done a great job at it. It didn’t hit me until this past weekend. Walking into the surprise going away party Mark planned and seeing all of my friends in one place saying their farewells, did it for me. I’ve had a permanent lump in my  throat since then and saying goodbye to my family and friends have made me release all of the emotions I’ve been holding back. I guess its ok to feel a mixture of emotions. It makes me know I’m alive and  at the brink of a new beginning. 

No matter the distance, I hope to be connected to you my friends and that is why i am writing this blog. I want to share my thoughts, feelings, and adventures with you as I make my way in Germany. i’m excited to finally start practicing dentistry in the US Army while exploring every corner in Europe. 

It is 10:26 pm right now (6 hours ahead) and I’m exhausted after all of the traveling I've done. My flight left out of BWI at 0220 and arrived to Ramstein airforce base around 1550. By the time me and the rest of the 400 passengers on my flight were taken care of, it was dinnertime. I went to Chili's for my last American meal and I am now relaxing because a bus is taking me to my base(few hours away) early tomorrow morning.

As I begin this transition into the unknown, I think about a mandala my best friend Patricia gave me before I left. "It reminds us to find a sacred wholesomeness in the present moment, but also to accept that everything changes and that somethings are too beautiful to stay in one place and in one form forever." 

Miss and love you all,

Stephanie